After an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy session, you might hear me refer to the “8 C’s” and “5 P’s” of Self. These qualities are essential to IFS therapy, helping guide us toward healing, clarity, and inner peace. In this article, I’ll explain what these terms mean and how they relate to your therapeutic journey.
The 8 C’s of Self in IFS Therapy
The 8 C’s represent core qualities of the Self, the wise, compassionate, and grounded part of us that can lead our internal system. In IFS, we aim to connect with these qualities so that our Self can become the leader of our internal family of parts.
- Calmness – This is the ability to remain steady, even in the midst of turmoil. When we connect with our calm, we can soothe our reactive parts and approach difficult emotions with ease.
- Curiosity – Instead of judging or fearing our emotions and inner parts, curiosity allows us to explore them with openness. By asking, “What’s going on here?” we can better understand our internal world without feeling overwhelmed.
- Compassion – This is the kindness we show to ourselves and our parts. Compassion helps us care for wounded or reactive parts without criticism or shame.
- Confidence – When we lead with Self, we have confidence in our ability to handle whatever comes our way. This inner strength helps us engage with even the most challenging parts of ourselves.
- Creativity – The Self is open to new solutions and ideas. Creativity allows us to see possibilities that our protective or fearful parts may have blocked.
- Courage – Sometimes facing our inner world requires bravery, especially when dealing with pain or trauma. Courage helps us confront these experiences with the support of our Self.
- Clarity – When we are connected to Self, we see things clearly without the distortion of fear, anger, or anxiety. Clarity allows us to better understand ourselves and our relationships.
- Connectedness – Lastly, the Self is deeply connected, both internally and externally. We feel a sense of unity with all of our parts and with others, fostering healthy relationships and a strong sense of belonging.
The 5 P’s of IFS Therapy
In addition to the 8 C’s, there are 5 qualities, known as the “P’s,” that are often used to describe the state of Self-leadership. These qualities help guide the process of connecting with and healing our parts.
- Presence – Being fully present with ourselves and our parts is a crucial step toward healing. Presence allows us to engage without distraction, offering our parts the attention they need to heal.
- Patience – Change takes time, and IFS therapy emphasizes patience with ourselves and our internal parts. This quality reminds us that healing is a process and that parts may take time to trust Self-leadership.
- Persistence – Healing often involves working through layers of protection, fear, or resistance. Persistence helps us continue the work, even when it feels challenging.
- Perspective – Self-leadership offers us a broader perspective, allowing us to step back and see our parts for what they are—well-meaning aspects of ourselves that are trying to help, even if their methods sometimes cause distress.
- Playfulness – Approaching our parts with lightness and humor can make the healing process less daunting. Playfulness opens the door for creative solutions and helps parts feel safe in letting go of their burdens.
How These Qualities Guide Your Healing Journey
As we work through IFS therapy, the goal is for your Self to take the lead, embodying these 8 C’s and 5 P’s. When your Self is leading, your parts can relax and trust that they no longer need to carry their burdens alone. The more you connect with these qualities, the more empowered you become to heal and grow.
It’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is unique. You may find certain C’s or P’s resonate more with you at different times. This is a natural part of the process, and with patience and persistence, you’ll continue to deepen your connection with your Self.
If you’re reading this because something feels stuck, overwhelming, or repetitive in your own life or relationship, you may find it helpful to start here:
→ Individual Therapy / Couples Therapy
How to Recognize When You’re in Self
A key part of IFS therapy is learning to recognize when you’re in a Self-led state. You’ll know you’re in Self when you feel calm, clear, and confident. You’ll notice a sense of ease in your body, and your mind will be open and curious. When in Self, you can approach your parts with compassion, offering them the attention and care they need without getting overwhelmed.
By cultivating the 8 C’s and 5 P’s, you are taking powerful steps toward healing your inner world and creating a life of balance, peace, and fulfillment. If you have any questions about these qualities or how to use them between sessions, don’t hesitate to reach out.