Couples Therapy Online – Reconnect, Repair, and Relate with More Depth

Online Relationship Counselling for Couples Across Europe

Hi, I’m Alister — and I work with couples all over Europe who are trying to find their way back to each other.

If you're reading this, chances are something in your relationship has been hurting for a while. Maybe one of you feels distant or shut down. Maybe communication has become reactive or repetitive. Maybe there's been a rupture — an affair, a betrayal, or a moment you can’t seem to get past. Or maybe you're just quietly wondering: Is this it?

You’re not alone. And it’s not too late.

What couples therapy looks like with me

I work online with couples across Europe, including:

• The UK (London, Brighton, Manchester…)
• Ireland (Dublin, Limerick, Galway…)
• And throughout Germany, the Netherlands, Austria, France, and beyond

I bring together two powerful frameworks:

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) – to understand and work with the emotional parts that show up in conflict (think: protectors, critics, shutdown parts, the part that always wants to leave)
• The Developmental Model of Couples Therapy – to help each partner grow, differentiate, and move from stuck patterns into more honest, mature connection

This isn’t about assigning blame or fixing your partner. It’s about learning how to show up in a new way — even when it’s hard.

Common reasons couples reach out

• Constant miscommunication or circular arguments
• Emotional disconnection or sexual withdrawal
• Struggles with parenting, work/life balance, or roles
• One person feels more invested than the other
• Recovering from infidelity, betrayal, or broken trust
• Feeling like roommates — or enemies

One of the biggest reasons couples stay stuck is that both partners have parts that are activated — hurt, protective, guarded, anxious, avoidant — and they don’t yet know how to make space for those parts without attacking each other.

That’s what we work on together.

What a session is like

Sessions are a mix of practical communication work and deep emotional exploration. Here’s what we might focus on:

• Helping each partner notice what part of them is reacting in conflict
• Understanding the deeper fears or longings beneath the reaction
• Practising new ways of communicating — with clarity, care, and curiosity
• Differentiating: learning to hold your own truth without needing your partner to match it instantly
• Creating new rituals, repairs, and patterns of connection

It’s honest work. It’s sometimes messy. And it can be incredibly healing.

How we work together

I offer three types of couples therapy formats:

1. Regular 90-minute sessions
   Weekly or fortnightly, usually over 8–12 weeks
2. 3-hour crisis sessions
   For couples in urgent distress or on the brink of separation
3. 2-day intensives
   Deep-dive private intensives, ideal for couples wanting to hit reset

All sessions are online, offered via a secure video platform — available to couples anywhere in Europe.

Why this might be the right time

You don’t have to wait for things to completely fall apart. If even one of you is reaching out, that’s enough to begin.

In therapy, I hold both of you — not to pick sides, but to support a process where both of you can speak, listen, and feel heard in a new way. I bring warmth, clarity, and a belief that conflict is often the birthplace of real intimacy — if you have the right support.

Let’s talk.
If you're in Europe and looking for an experienced couples therapist, I’d love to hear from you.
Book a free 15-minute call or reach out at me@alistergates.com