If you’ve ever felt like different parts of you are pulling in opposite directions — one part wants change, another part feels scared, and another just wants to avoid it all — IFS might be the approach you’ve been looking for. This gentle, powerful model of therapy helps you understand
IFS TRAINED -INDIVIDUAL AND COUPLE THERAPIST
Individual therapy and couples work that goes beneath the surface — using IFS to get to what's actually running the show.
Whether your relationship is falling apart, anxiety is running your life, or something underneath keeps getting in the way — this work helps you understand what's driving it, and change it.
35 years business experience and 20 years mentoring, coaching and facilitating
Work with professionals, founders & expats. Confidential & discreet
Online sessions across UK, Europe, Middle East & US, Australia & New Zealand.
Clear, grounded, and quietly transformative. I stopped overthinking and started feeling like myself again.
Senior Professional, UK
Alister has a very gentle and thoughtful nature. He was able to bring clarity and comfort to my situation and has become an invaluable shepherd guiding my journey.
CEO
We felt stuck in the same conversations for years. Therapy helped us understand what was really going on and reconnect.
Couple, Expat Clients
This work tends to suit people who…
Know it is time to change something and...
- Are high-functioning but internally anxious or self-critical
- Overthink decisions or feel stuck despite success
- Feel disconnected in your relationship
- Want depth and practical change — not endless talking
This may not be right if you:
- Want quick motivational coaching only
- Are looking for crisis or emergency services
- Prefer purely CBT worksheets without emotional depth
People usually come to see me when something that once worked… doesn’t anymore.
Often, on the outside, life looks fine — even successful. Careers have progressed. Responsibilities are being met. But internally, there’s tension, exhaustion, or a quiet sense of disconnection that won’t go away.
I work with professionals, founders, and business owners — people used to thinking clearly and coping well — who find themselves overthinking, burnt out, emotionally distant, or unsure who they are beneath the roles they’ve built.
For some, this shows up in their thirties: pressure, self-doubt, long hours, and a constant sense of having to hold it together. For others, it emerges later — when a relationship is strained, a partner is at breaking point, or the question becomes, “How did I end up here?”
My background spans over 35 years in business and many years as a therapist. That means I understand both the external pressures of achievement and the internal cost of carrying them alone.
The work we do together is about reducing the noise, understanding what’s really driving these patterns, and rebuilding a sense of clarity, connection, and emotional steadiness — in your work, your relationships, and yourself.
If this sounds familiar, a short conversation is often the easiest place to start.
Alister Gates - IFS Trained Individual and Couple Therapist
Most people don’t arrive knowing exactly what they need — only where the pressure is strongest.
Couples Therapy: Building Stronger Bonds
Most couples don't arrive in crisis. They arrive when the same conversation has happened one too many times, or when the distance has become impossible to ignore. Couples therapy with me uses Internal Family Systems to look at what's driving the pattern in each person — not just what's happening between you. When the parts that are running the conflict are understood, something different becomes possible. Find out more >>
When your relationship is in crisis and weekly therapy isn't enough.
Sometimes something happens that changes everything — an affair, a betrayal, a moment where the future of the relationship is genuinely uncertain. A 2–3 day private intensive in Zurich gives you the concentrated time and holding to face it properly.
Real therapeutic work. In days, not months.
Available for couples travelling to Zurich. Limited dates each month.
Start Where Your Struggle Is Strongest
- 1For Relationships
Conflict, emotional distance, repeating patterns
→ Explore couples therapy - 2For Deeper Individual Work
IFS-informed therapy
→ Explore individual therapy - 3For Executives & Senior Leaders
The pattern you can see but can't stop. The relationship that's quietly losing ground. The exhaustion of leading from a place that doesn't feel like you.
→ The Self-Led Executive programme
Self-Led Executive
I also work with senior executives and founders navigating the gap between external success and internal steadiness. If that's you, there's a dedicated programme.
Whether you come for the executive work, individual therapy, or couples sessions — the approach is the same: get to what's actually driving the pattern, not just the surface of it.
This is what I have discovered. You can't outrun the pain.
And if you can never outrun it, you might as well turn and face it.
That takes courage. And I will walk with you while you do.
Let's meet and start your journey
What Clients Say
Working with Alister has been a breath of fresh air, as he was able to provide the insight, knowledge and experience of someone who has been working on himself for some time and is intimately aware of the challenges and hurdles that come to us as men. I originally got in touch with Alister from reading Robert Glovers book 'no more mr nice guy' to help with assertiveness in relationships. I recently got this message from a lady I took out for a date "Just wanted to to say thankyou for the date, your decisiveness & take charge presence was so sexy!" , so his advice definitely works! But we've also gone on to explore other life areas as well such as career and life direction. I view Alister as a very valuable part of my ongoing personal development.
Luke ● Melbourne
Alister saved my relationship with my wife of nearly 20 years. I was going through relationship and personal issues and felt I had nowhere to go to for help. Found Alister online and from the very first phone call, I felt care, support, acknowledgment and a great sense of hope. I can't thank him enough as he has not only helped me become a better partner but also helped strengthen my relationship with my wife in ways I never knew of. Alister kept me honest and always had my back. Thank you!'
Bart● Hamilton
Before I started my work with Alister I was dependent on alcohol to suppress all my emotions and inner thoughts.
I was initially sceptical on how therapy would work for me but upon meeting with Alister and his ability to make myself feel open and relaxed, made the experience eye opening.
The person I was and who I am today is a stark comparison. I am 2 years free from alcohol and better for it.
It is a continuous journey of growth and finding the real me but one I would not have been able to make without Alister!
Business Owner
Alister has been a wonderful North Star in my life recently. I reached out to him initially in the wake of a lot of friction with my wife. Alister helped me to understand and be more conscious of my nice guy leaning behaviours, and to identify and work though historical and current events that had been feeding into my nice guy mode of being. Alister has been ever supportive, non-judgmental and practical in sharing a range of tools and resources. Always more to be done, but Alister has shone a bright spotlight on my nice guy traits and lifted a weight from my shoulders. My relationship with my wife is back on track and I am seeing improvements in other family and work relationships also. Highly recommend engaging with Alister.
Jason ● GM
About Alister Gates
COUNSELLOR AND COUPLE'S THERAPIST
- 35 years in business across leadership, operations and building teams
- Trained in parts-informed therapy (Internal Family Systems) and relationship models
- Experienced with founders, co-founders, senior executives, doctors, engineers, and expat professionals navigating leadership under pressure
- Based in Europe, working online with clients through Europe, North America, Australia and New Zealand. I also see couples in person — learn more about working with couples in Switzerland
Alister Gates - IFS Therapist
“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl
Not Sure Where to Start? That’s Normal.
Most people who work with me didn’t know exactly what they needed at first — only that something wasn’t working anymore.
No obligation. We’ll clarify what’s going on and whether working together makes sense.
Latest Articles
Husband, father, counsellor and therapist— based in Zurich, Switzerland. Working online with couples and professionals across Europe, USA, Australia and New Zealand. In-person sessions available in Zurich. Helping with relationship stress, anxiety, and the cost of always holding it together — using Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy. Couples therapy in Switzerland
Copyright 2026 (YOUNEEK LIMITED)