I’ve been doing this work for a number of years now, and I’ve learned that choosing a therapist is one of the most personal decisions you’ll ever make. If you’re reading this, there’s something you’re struggling with—perhaps anxiety that won’t quiet down, relationship patterns that keep repeating, trauma that still feels present, or simply a sense that parts of you are in conflict. I want you to know that whatever brought you here, it makes sense, and there’s a path forward.
Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters So Much
Over the time I’ve been in practice, one thing has become crystal clear: the relationship between therapist and client is the foundation of healing. Research confirms this—it’s not just about the therapeutic approach (though that matters), it’s about feeling safe enough to do the deep work.
Some people find that safety more easily with a male therapist. Perhaps it’s because you didn’t have a supportive father figure growing up, and you’re seeking that kind of steady, grounded presence. Maybe you’ve experienced trauma related to women, and a male perspective feels less triggering. Or possibly you’re a man yourself, and you’ve found it easier to open up to another man about struggles with anger, vulnerability, or masculinity. Whatever your reasons, they’re valid. Therapy only works when you feel safe.
I specialise in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, and I’ve found this approach to be remarkably effective at helping people heal from the inside out. But before I explain what IFS is, I want to address something important: you’re not broken. You’re not too damaged. You’re not beyond help. What you are is a person whose internal system developed protective strategies to keep you safe—and now some of those strategies might not be serving you anymore.
What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Think about a time when part of you wanted one thing, while another part wanted something completely different. Maybe part of you wanted to speak up in a meeting, while another part stayed silent. Or part of you wanted to leave a relationship, while another part was terrified of being alone. We’ve all experienced this internal multiplicity.
IFS therapy takes this common experience seriously. Rather than seeing these as mere “conflicting thoughts,” IFS recognises that we all have different parts—sub-personalities, if you will—each with its own perspective, feelings, and intentions. And here’s the crucial bit: even the parts that seem to be causing problems are actually trying to help you in some way.
In my work with clients, I’ve witnessed remarkable transformations when people learn to approach their parts with curiosity rather than judgment. That critical inner voice that says you’re not good enough? It’s likely trying to protect you from failure or rejection. The part that pushes people away? It probably learned that closeness leads to pain. The anxious part that never lets you rest? It’s working overtime to keep you safe from perceived threats.
How We Work Together
When you work with me, we create a space where all your parts are welcome. I’m not here to eliminate parts of you or to fix you like you’re broken. Instead, we’ll work together to help you develop a relationship with your parts—understanding what they’re protecting you from and what they need in order to relax their extreme roles.
The goal of IFS therapy is to help you access what we call “Self”—that core part of you that’s calm, curious, compassionate, and confident. When you’re in Self, you can lead your internal system with wisdom and care. You become the kind, firm presence your parts have been looking for all along.
I’ll be honest with you: this work isn’t always easy. Sometimes we need to approach painful memories or difficult emotions. But you won’t be doing it alone, and you won’t be doing it before you’re ready. We’ll move at a pace that feels right for you, always respecting the protective parts that may be worried about going too fast.
What Research Tells Us About IFS
I believe in being evidence-based in my practice. The research on IFS has been increasingly robust, particularly in recent years. Studies have shown significant improvements for people dealing with:
Depression and anxiety (with effect sizes comparable to or better than cognitive-behavioural therapy)
Trauma and PTSD (including complex trauma from childhood)
Relationship difficulties and attachment issues
Rheumatoid arthritis pain and physical health conditions
Self-compassion and overall wellbeing
A 2021 study found that 83% of participants no longer met criteria for depression after IFS therapy, with sustained improvements at follow-up. Another recent study showed significant reductions in anxiety and increases in self-compassion. What I find most meaningful, though, isn’t just the statistics—it’s watching clients reconnect with themselves, often for the first time in their lives.
Why IFS Might Be Right for You
You might be wondering if this approach would work for what you’re going through. In my experience, IFS is particularly helpful if:
You feel internal conflict: If you often experience a war inside yourself—wanting to do something but holding yourself back, feeling pulled in different directions, or noticing contradictory thoughts and feelings—IFS offers a framework that makes sense of this experience.
Traditional therapy hasn’t quite worked: Perhaps you’ve tried other approaches and gained some insight, but you still feel stuck. IFS goes deeper, addressing not just thoughts or behaviours, but the underlying protective system that maintains patterns.
You’ve experienced trauma: IFS is especially gentle and effective with trauma because it never forces you to dive into painful experiences before you’re ready. We work with the protective parts first, building trust and safety.
You’re seeking lasting change: Some therapy provides temporary relief. IFS aims for fundamental shifts in how you relate to yourself and others. When you heal the relationships between your parts, change tends to be sustainable.
You want to understand yourself better: If you’re curious about why you do what you do, why certain patterns keep repeating, or what’s really driving your reactions, IFS offers profound insight.
Working with Me Specifically
I bring my full self to this work—my years of experience, my training in IFS and related modalities, and my genuine belief in people’s capacity for healing. Some clients have told me they appreciate my calm, steady presence. Others value the way I can hold space for difficult emotions without becoming uncomfortable or trying to fix things too quickly.
As an older male therapist, I’m aware that this identity may be part of what drew you to my practice. Whether it’s because you’re seeking a paternal figure you didn’t have, because you’re more comfortable with a man, or simply because you found my website and something resonated—whatever the reason, what matters is that you feel safe enough to begin.
I work with clients throughout Europe and the UK, conducting sessions online. The beauty of online therapy is that you can do this work from the comfort of your own home, in a space where you already feel safe. Some of my most profound sessions have happened with clients sitting in their favourite chair with a cup of tea, rather than in a formal office setting.
What Happens Next
If you’re considering working with me, I imagine you might have some concerns. That’s natural. Parts of you might be worried about being vulnerable, about whether therapy will actually help, about the time and money investment, or about whether I’m the right fit.
Here’s what I can tell you: I offer an initial consultation where we can talk about what you’re struggling with, how IFS might help, and whether we’d work well together. There’s no pressure, no commitment. It’s simply a conversation between two people—one who’s struggling with something, and one who’s dedicated his professional life to helping people navigate those struggles.
You don’t have to have everything figured out before we talk. You don’t need to know exactly what’s wrong or be able to articulate it perfectly. You just need to know that something isn’t quite right, and that you’re ready to explore what might help.
I’ve worked with people dealing with anxiety and depression, childhood trauma and complex PTSD, relationship difficulties, work stress, grief and loss, identity questions, and existential concerns. I’ve worked with people in their twenties just starting out, and people in their seventies looking back and making sense of their lives. What they all have in common is a willingness to look inward with curiosity and courage.
A Final Word
If you’ve read this far, something is calling you toward healing. Maybe it’s a whisper, maybe it’s a shout. Either way, I encourage you to listen to it.
The parts of you that have been working so hard to keep you safe deserve to be heard and appreciated. The pain you’ve been carrying deserves compassionate attention. The patterns you’ve been stuck in can shift. And the life you want—one where you feel more grounded, more connected, more yourself—is possible.
I won’t promise you that therapy is easy or quick. What I will promise is that I’ll show up fully for our work together, that I’ll respect your pace, and that I’ll bring decades of experience and genuine care to helping you find your way forward.
You’ve already taken the first step by being here, by reading this, by considering whether this might be right for you. The next step is simply to reach out. We’ll take it from there, together.
I look forward to hearing from you when you’re ready.
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I’m a male IFS therapist with extensive training and experience in Internal Family Systems therapy, working with clients throughout Europe and the UK. If you’re looking for a compassionate, experienced male therapist who specialises in IFS, I invite you to get in touch for an initial consultation.